An elderly couple had dinner at another couples house, and after eating the wives went to the kitchen. The two gentleman were left talking and one said "We went to a great restaurant the other night, I would recommend it very highly." The other man said "What was it's name?"
The first man thought and thought and then said "what is the name of the flower you give to someone who you love?". "You mean a rose ?" said the other gent. "Yes thats the one" replied the man. He looked towards the kitchen and yelled "Rose, What was the name of that restaurant we went to the other night?".
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A little old man shuffled into an ice cream parlour and pulled himself slowly and painfully onto a stool. After catching his breath, he orders a banana split. The waitress asks kindly "Crushed nuts?" "No" he replied "Arthritis".
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Morris an 82 year old man, went to the doctors to get a physical.
A few days later, the doctor saw a smiling Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous woman on his arm.
A couple of days later the doctor saw Morris and said "You're really doing great aren't you?" "Just doing what you said, Doc" Morris replied "Get a hot momma and be cheerful". The doctor said I didn't say that, I said You've got a heart murmur, be careful".
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A couple in their nineties are having problems remembering things. During a check up the doctor says that physically they are OK, but might want to start writing things down to help them remember.
Later that night , The old man gets up from his chai and says "Do you want anything from the kitchen?"
"Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?"
"Sure" says the man
"Don't you think you should write it down" she asks
"No, I can remember that"
"Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, do you think you should write it down now, so you don't forget?"
" No, You want ice cream with strawberries on top, I can remember that"
" I'd also like some whipped cream, I'm certain you will need to write that down"
Irritated the man says " You want ice cream, with strawberries on top and whipped cream. I don't need to write it down, I can remember it, Okay?"
Then he goes into the kitchen, after about 10 minutes he returns, and puts down a plate of bacon and eggs in front of the woman. She stares at the plate for a moment and then says "Where's my toast?".
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Jokes
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Jokes
Our period of waiting is over - this is the time.
old couple driving along and they come to the field where they first made love he stops the car and gets out takes his wife by the hand and says
"come on dear for old times sake "
they get down to it by the fence and after ten Min's when he finally gets his breath back asks if that was OK
" you have not made love to me like that for fifty years that was amazing "
" Well fifty years ago this fence was not electrified"
"come on dear for old times sake "
they get down to it by the fence and after ten Min's when he finally gets his breath back asks if that was OK
" you have not made love to me like that for fifty years that was amazing "
" Well fifty years ago this fence was not electrified"
is growing bonsai a big thing
A wife was becoming quite worried because her husband had not arrived home on time from his regular Saturday afternoon golf game.
As the hours passed she became more and more nervous. Finally, at about 8 p.m., her husband's golfing partner, Bob pulled into the driveway.
"What happened? You guys should have been back hours ago! Where's Frank?" asked the wife.
"Well, you see," replied Bob, "Frank had a heart attack at the third hole. Now don't worry, I took him to the hospital and he's going to be fine."
"Oh, my God, that's terrible, my poor Frank, to think about how he must have been suffering through all that pain," sobbed the wife.
"Oh?" Bob responded, "you think HE had it bad? What about me? How do you think I feel? Do you think I had it easy? All day long it was... "...hit the ball, drag Frank, hit the ball, drag Frank..."
As the hours passed she became more and more nervous. Finally, at about 8 p.m., her husband's golfing partner, Bob pulled into the driveway.
"What happened? You guys should have been back hours ago! Where's Frank?" asked the wife.
"Well, you see," replied Bob, "Frank had a heart attack at the third hole. Now don't worry, I took him to the hospital and he's going to be fine."
"Oh, my God, that's terrible, my poor Frank, to think about how he must have been suffering through all that pain," sobbed the wife.
"Oh?" Bob responded, "you think HE had it bad? What about me? How do you think I feel? Do you think I had it easy? All day long it was... "...hit the ball, drag Frank, hit the ball, drag Frank..."
JGriffin - "The outright winner was the ref who blew himself inside out."
http://incoherenttwaddle.blogspot.com/
http://incoherenttwaddle.blogspot.com/