how do i win her back??

orla - mumha abú! · Post by **orla - mumha abú!** » Fri Sep 28, 2007 4:57 pm

but if they are truly in love, then it doesnt matter.

yes college brings many new exciting experiences to life, but they dont all have to be related to sex and experimentation in that vein.

i have loads of friends whos relationships broke up when they went away to college, but i also have loads of friends who are still with their boyfriend/girlfriend from secondary school. it depends on the level of committment. i still say go for it!

BO'D is GOD · Post by **BO'D is GOD** » Mon Oct 01, 2007 12:10 pm

[quote="BenWL"]Having been away to college I can say that it's not the distance it's the fact that she is having new experiences every day with a new group of friends which don't include you.

So her life will be travelling in a different direction from yours. I have seen it with so many of my friends who have gone to college.

Give it all up and make a fresh start. There is nothing to ease the pain of loss than the excitement of a new relationship.[/quote]

typical male responce to the problem if in doubt jump into bed with someone else.

Kinoulton · Post by **Kinoulton** » Mon Oct 01, 2007 5:19 pm

You should definitely jump into bed with another bird.

This way, you get to lay one bird, minimum.

But that could make your ex-bird get jealous. She'll come running back and you get to lay her too.

So that's one bird in the hand and another in the bush, so to speak.

Rizzo · Post by **Rizzo** » Mon Oct 01, 2007 5:56 pm

Kinoulton · Post by **Kinoulton** » Tue Oct 02, 2007 1:56 pm

Sorry.

But there are young men on this forum who need the sort of sound advice that an wise old git can provide!

OK, go on one knee, do the hearts and flowers stuff, and beg her to come back. In reality it's what I always did.

Tank · Post by **Tank** » Tue Oct 02, 2007 3:43 pm

well i sent the letter but she doesnt wanna talk bout it. if i even come close to mentioning it she says im forcing her to make a decision, im jus thinking that she doesnt know how to tell me the spark gone bye bye. was worth a try tho!

orla - mumha abú! · Post by **orla - mumha abú!** » Tue Oct 02, 2007 8:49 pm

sorry to hear that!

cornish tigress · Post by **cornish tigress** » Tue Oct 02, 2007 8:58 pm

Sorry to hear that too. If you don't find another soul mate in the next couple of months, try asking her out for a drink over Christmas when she's back just on a friendly basis. She may have finished licking her wounds from being dumped by you by then, and maybe the spark can be reignited. May be worth a go? If not at least you have a friend.

fatbast · Post by **fatbast** » Sat Oct 06, 2007 7:06 am

Sorry to re-open this after a few days but I don't get on here that often and am just having a mooch round.

Asking her out for a Drink when she's home is a sure fire way of ruining your immediate future! If she's giving you the cold shoulder then just accept it and walk away, you don't need to dive into anything new and really shouldn't anyway as it sounds like you're in the dark place and, having been there, it's far better to surround yourself with your pals and just try to accept that it's gone and won't be coming back.

Taking her for a drink, or even asking her, won't allow you to move on because if you still have feelings for her they'll just bubble away under the surface and will eventually force their way out, say or do the wrong thing whilst having your friendly drink and bingo...back to square one.

It's hard and I’m sure we've all been there at one stage or another but if she says no once the chances are that she won't see you as cute and persistent if you ask again, she'll just see you as annoying and possibly a bit sad. Move on kid, let her do the same and you'll be fine, keep picking at it and you'll mess yourself up.

As for the ‘typical male response’ I don’t think that response is typical, I think it’s sometimes seen as typical but, being a male, I can tell you that we’re a thoughtful bunch when we want to be, we may be clumsy and a bit spontaneous but not all of us are only interested in sex, sure sex helps but I’d rather get over a relationship than burst into tears whilst putting my goofy face on for the first time with someone new…

BO'D is GOD · Post by **BO'D is GOD** » Fri Oct 12, 2007 8:56 am

i think if he gives her time she'll work out what those residual feelings actually mean. jumping into bed with the next female that walks along is hardly going to make her think that she was so special and that you really wanted her back.

fatbast · Post by **fatbast** » Fri Oct 12, 2007 9:56 am

The initial comment was "Give it all up and make a fresh start. There is nothing to ease the pain of loss than the excitement of a new relationship" not "go out and doink the first woman you see sunshine"

I think the advice given was pretty good to be honest, ok there's a danger of a rebound which does no-one any good but if, as the author says, the woman concerned won't even talk to him about things then surely he has little choice but to try to get over her as best he can? He can't be expected to sit around with his thumb somewhere warm and moist indefinitely and if he's not allowed to even mention the subject then he's little hope of reconciliation.

You can only do so much to convince the object of your affection that they need to reconsider, banging your head against a brick wall will only give you a headache, if she's closed the lines of communication then she's made her decision, him spending the next six months in a state of limbo won't alter that.

ooh i feel like Robert Kilroy Silk...only less orange