funniest ever movie/tv lines
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funniest ever movie/tv lines
fletch whistles "born free...till somebody caught me."
steptoe senior talking harold out of the wedding reads out of his hymn book,
"fight the good fight, very apt. Ye though we walk into the valley of death"
ron "Anchorman" burgundy has a breakdown when his pet chawawa is chucked off a bridge by jack black, answers phone all drunk and broken, "BAXTER , Baxter is that you? pls let it be so, bark twice if you're in milwaukee
"Now Greg , Im a patient man, 4 years in a viet prison camp will do that to you, but if you corrupt my 1st born child I will bring you down, down to chinatown."-nightmare father in law deniro
dont knock mastur*ation, its sex with someone I love
-woody allen
I dont fear death I just dont wannabe around when it happens- woody allen
"Panther scent works 50% of the time, every time.-anchorman
everything alan partridge ever says, "Monkey Tennis?"
carry on camping, sid boggle and berie tink its a nue site, the sign reads, all asses must be shown, mr fiddler takesthe mony and returns with a letter P to make it passes. "Sorry just went fo p."
sid gutted
sid "how much is the site "
Fiddler-"pound,per person. Ok. Oh and per vehicle, oh and for the ground rent.
sid, "per person or per tent.
fiddler,"um whichever is the greater."
infamy infamy theyve all got it in for me
I cant say married, It fine but waking up to the same face drives me crazy. Just ff of for 5 yrs then we'll FFF like rabbits."_r pryor
etc
steptoe senior talking harold out of the wedding reads out of his hymn book,
"fight the good fight, very apt. Ye though we walk into the valley of death"
ron "Anchorman" burgundy has a breakdown when his pet chawawa is chucked off a bridge by jack black, answers phone all drunk and broken, "BAXTER , Baxter is that you? pls let it be so, bark twice if you're in milwaukee
"Now Greg , Im a patient man, 4 years in a viet prison camp will do that to you, but if you corrupt my 1st born child I will bring you down, down to chinatown."-nightmare father in law deniro
dont knock mastur*ation, its sex with someone I love
-woody allen
I dont fear death I just dont wannabe around when it happens- woody allen
"Panther scent works 50% of the time, every time.-anchorman
everything alan partridge ever says, "Monkey Tennis?"
carry on camping, sid boggle and berie tink its a nue site, the sign reads, all asses must be shown, mr fiddler takesthe mony and returns with a letter P to make it passes. "Sorry just went fo p."
sid gutted
sid "how much is the site "
Fiddler-"pound,per person. Ok. Oh and per vehicle, oh and for the ground rent.
sid, "per person or per tent.
fiddler,"um whichever is the greater."
infamy infamy theyve all got it in for me
I cant say married, It fine but waking up to the same face drives me crazy. Just ff of for 5 yrs then we'll FFF like rabbits."_r pryor
etc
H E RICHARDS
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Guess where the following Classic lines are from (should be easy)- but name the episode.
Manuel: "Qué?"
Mrs. Richards: "What? "
Manuel: "Qué?"
Mrs. Richards: "K?"
Manuel: "Sí."
Mrs. Richards: "KC? KC? What are you trying to say?"
Manuel: "No, no no no. Qué, "what.""
Mrs. Richards: "K. Watt? "
Manuel: "Sí: qué, "what."
Mrs. Richards: "C.K. Watt? "
Manuel: "Yes. "
Mrs. Richards: "Who is this C.K. Watt? "
Manuel: "Qué? "
Mrs. Richards: "Is he the manager? "
Manuel: "Oh, Manajer. "
Mrs. Richards: "He is. "
Manuel: "Ah, Mr. Fawlty. "
Mrs. Richards: "Oh, what are you talking about, you silly little man?"
Mrs. Richards(to Polly): "Girl, I start to ask this man about my room, and he tells me the manager is a Mr. Watt, aged forty. "
Manuel: "No, no no. "Fawwl-ty."
Mrs. Richards: "Faulty? What's wrong with him?"
Manuel: "Qué?"
Mrs. Richards: "What? "
Manuel: "Qué?"
Mrs. Richards: "K?"
Manuel: "Sí."
Mrs. Richards: "KC? KC? What are you trying to say?"
Manuel: "No, no no no. Qué, "what.""
Mrs. Richards: "K. Watt? "
Manuel: "Sí: qué, "what."
Mrs. Richards: "C.K. Watt? "
Manuel: "Yes. "
Mrs. Richards: "Who is this C.K. Watt? "
Manuel: "Qué? "
Mrs. Richards: "Is he the manager? "
Manuel: "Oh, Manajer. "
Mrs. Richards: "He is. "
Manuel: "Ah, Mr. Fawlty. "
Mrs. Richards: "Oh, what are you talking about, you silly little man?"
Mrs. Richards(to Polly): "Girl, I start to ask this man about my room, and he tells me the manager is a Mr. Watt, aged forty. "
Manuel: "No, no no. "Fawwl-ty."
Mrs. Richards: "Faulty? What's wrong with him?"
My Wild Oats Have turned to Shredded Wheat
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For me, it has to be Fletch in Porridge when he has to go to see the Medical Officer.
MO: Suffer from any illness?
Fletch: Bad feet.
MO: Suffer from any illness?
Fletch: Bad feet!
MO: Paid a recent visit to a doctor or hospital?
Fletch: Only with my bad feet! ...
MO: Are you now or have you at any time been a practicing homosexual.
Fletch: What, with these feet?
MO: Suffer from any illness?
Fletch: Bad feet.
MO: Suffer from any illness?
Fletch: Bad feet!
MO: Paid a recent visit to a doctor or hospital?
Fletch: Only with my bad feet! ...
MO: Are you now or have you at any time been a practicing homosexual.
Fletch: What, with these feet?
Kicks and scrums and ruck and roll.....Is all my brain and body need!
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Team America!
Gary Johnston: OK, a limosine that can fly. Now I have seen everything.
Spottswoode: Really? Have you seen a man eat his own head?
Gary Johnston: No.
Spottswoode: So then, you haven't seen everything.
Spottswoode: From what I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.N.C.E has gathered, it would be 9/11 times 100.
Gary Johnston: 9/11 times a hundred? Jesus, that's...
Spottswoode: Yes, 91,100.
Chris: Basically, all the worst parts of the bible.
Kim Jong Il: It will be 911 times 2356.
Chris: My God, that's... I don't even know what that is!
Kim Jong Il: Nobody does!
song: ["End of an Act"] I miss you more than Michael Bay missed the mark, When he made Pearl Harbor. / I miss you more than that movie missed the point, And that's an awful lot, girl. / And now, now you've gone away, And all I'm trying to say, is: Pearl Harbor sucked and I miss you. / I need you like Ben Affleck needs acting school, He was terrible in that film. / I need you like Cuba Gooding needed a bigger part, He's way better than Ben Affleck. / And now, all I can think about is your smile, and that sh**ty movie, too! Pearl Harbor sucked and I miss you. / Why does Michael Bay get to keep on making movies? / I guess Pearl Harbor sucked, just a little bit more than I miss you.
Chris: I'll drill two holes through your d**k so that when you pee it shoots out in all different directions.
Spottswoode: Now hold on team, Gary has already proven to me that he is 100% committed to the team. He proved it last night by sucking my c**k.
Many more classic ones but most two explicit to put on here.
Gary Johnston: OK, a limosine that can fly. Now I have seen everything.
Spottswoode: Really? Have you seen a man eat his own head?
Gary Johnston: No.
Spottswoode: So then, you haven't seen everything.
Spottswoode: From what I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.N.C.E has gathered, it would be 9/11 times 100.
Gary Johnston: 9/11 times a hundred? Jesus, that's...
Spottswoode: Yes, 91,100.
Chris: Basically, all the worst parts of the bible.
Kim Jong Il: It will be 911 times 2356.
Chris: My God, that's... I don't even know what that is!
Kim Jong Il: Nobody does!
song: ["End of an Act"] I miss you more than Michael Bay missed the mark, When he made Pearl Harbor. / I miss you more than that movie missed the point, And that's an awful lot, girl. / And now, now you've gone away, And all I'm trying to say, is: Pearl Harbor sucked and I miss you. / I need you like Ben Affleck needs acting school, He was terrible in that film. / I need you like Cuba Gooding needed a bigger part, He's way better than Ben Affleck. / And now, all I can think about is your smile, and that sh**ty movie, too! Pearl Harbor sucked and I miss you. / Why does Michael Bay get to keep on making movies? / I guess Pearl Harbor sucked, just a little bit more than I miss you.
Chris: I'll drill two holes through your d**k so that when you pee it shoots out in all different directions.
Spottswoode: Now hold on team, Gary has already proven to me that he is 100% committed to the team. He proved it last night by sucking my c**k.
Many more classic ones but most two explicit to put on here.
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Fawlty Towers:
Basil: "What did you expect to see out of a Torquay hotel bedroom window, Hanging Gardens of Babylon, Sydney Opera House perhaps, herds of wilderbeats sweeping majestically....."
Can't remember which film, was it Pink Panther ?
(to Peter Sellers) "Does your dog bite?"
(Sellers): "No"
(Dog promptly bites man)
(man): "I thought you said your dog didn't bite ?"
(Sellers): "It's not my dog !"
Agree with Two Ronnies, classics all of them !
Basil: "What did you expect to see out of a Torquay hotel bedroom window, Hanging Gardens of Babylon, Sydney Opera House perhaps, herds of wilderbeats sweeping majestically....."
Can't remember which film, was it Pink Panther ?
(to Peter Sellers) "Does your dog bite?"
(Sellers): "No"
(Dog promptly bites man)
(man): "I thought you said your dog didn't bite ?"
(Sellers): "It's not my dog !"
Agree with Two Ronnies, classics all of them !
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