World Cup Joke of the Day
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World Cup Joke of the Day
I know there is already another thread(s) on the World Cup, but this is just a bit of fun.
OK lets start with an old one.
What do you call a Welshman in the World Cup?
A referee.
Please feel free to add any roundyball jokes you want.
OK lets start with an old one.
What do you call a Welshman in the World Cup?
A referee.
Please feel free to add any roundyball jokes you want.
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OK, an oldie.
The England squad are training hard in the sweltering morining heat of Germany, when Owen beckons Neville to come over. He whispers in his ear.
"Listen Neville, I reckon this training's a load of rubbish. We don't need it in this heat. And something else, have you noticed that Sven's never here for the last hour?"
"Really?" says Neville.
"Absolutely. He stays around until about midday. Then as soon as we go off on that awful cross country run, he's in his car and away."
"So what are you saying?" asks Neville.
"Basically, I ain't doing the run. As soon as Sven's gone off in his car, I'm off too. Who's going to know? Are you up for it? I reckon I can be in the bookies by 12:15 and there's a few good things running today."
"I'm sorely tempted." says Neville. "Apparently there's a cracking bar in town where all the fit office girls go at lunchtime. They reckon even I could pull in there. Hang on though. There's a problem. What about Beckham? He follows me round like a flipping puppy dog. I'll never be able to slip out without him noticing."
"Oh yeah." says Owen. " I hadn't thought of that idiot. Tell you what. We'll take him with us. Call him over."
Becks comes over and Owen explains their plan to skip the last hour of training once Sven's out the way. Becks likes the idea. "Yes. Tee-hee. That will be good because my Victoria will be here and I do love my Victoria and I can go to her hotel and see her, tee-hee-hee."
So at 12 o'clock Owen notices Sven's car being driven out the car park and he ushers Neville and Beckham out of the ground. Wasting no time, Beckham gets into his car and drives straight to the wives' hotel. He gets a key off the reception desk, tip-toes up to Victoria's room, lets himself in, and gets the shock of his life.
There on the hotel bed, Victoria and Sven are enthusiastically performing some very athletic manouvers. Beck's just stares at them for a moment or two, then quickly leaves, unnoticed.
The next day at the training ground, Neville and Owen are comparing notes. Owen is 90 grand up after his spell in the bookies, and Neville loved being the centre of attention at the downtown bar as all the local lovelies were all over him. They're definitely up for leaving early again so they call Beckham over.
"Right Becks." says Neville. "Are you up for sneaking off early again today?"
"No!" snaps Beckham angrily. "No way. I nearly got caught yesterday."
The England squad are training hard in the sweltering morining heat of Germany, when Owen beckons Neville to come over. He whispers in his ear.
"Listen Neville, I reckon this training's a load of rubbish. We don't need it in this heat. And something else, have you noticed that Sven's never here for the last hour?"
"Really?" says Neville.
"Absolutely. He stays around until about midday. Then as soon as we go off on that awful cross country run, he's in his car and away."
"So what are you saying?" asks Neville.
"Basically, I ain't doing the run. As soon as Sven's gone off in his car, I'm off too. Who's going to know? Are you up for it? I reckon I can be in the bookies by 12:15 and there's a few good things running today."
"I'm sorely tempted." says Neville. "Apparently there's a cracking bar in town where all the fit office girls go at lunchtime. They reckon even I could pull in there. Hang on though. There's a problem. What about Beckham? He follows me round like a flipping puppy dog. I'll never be able to slip out without him noticing."
"Oh yeah." says Owen. " I hadn't thought of that idiot. Tell you what. We'll take him with us. Call him over."
Becks comes over and Owen explains their plan to skip the last hour of training once Sven's out the way. Becks likes the idea. "Yes. Tee-hee. That will be good because my Victoria will be here and I do love my Victoria and I can go to her hotel and see her, tee-hee-hee."
So at 12 o'clock Owen notices Sven's car being driven out the car park and he ushers Neville and Beckham out of the ground. Wasting no time, Beckham gets into his car and drives straight to the wives' hotel. He gets a key off the reception desk, tip-toes up to Victoria's room, lets himself in, and gets the shock of his life.
There on the hotel bed, Victoria and Sven are enthusiastically performing some very athletic manouvers. Beck's just stares at them for a moment or two, then quickly leaves, unnoticed.
The next day at the training ground, Neville and Owen are comparing notes. Owen is 90 grand up after his spell in the bookies, and Neville loved being the centre of attention at the downtown bar as all the local lovelies were all over him. They're definitely up for leaving early again so they call Beckham over.
"Right Becks." says Neville. "Are you up for sneaking off early again today?"
"No!" snaps Beckham angrily. "No way. I nearly got caught yesterday."
Kicks and scrums and ruck and roll.....Is all my brain and body need!
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Nice one, Kinny :D
Brazil are due to play Scotland at the World Cup, But the Brazilians can't be bothered. So Ronaldo says "Look lads this should be an easy game, in fact you lot stay at the hotel and I'll play Scotland on my own". At first the rest of the team are unsure about this, but after a bit of persuading they agree.
Back at the hotel, 10 mins into the game, Ronaldinhio puts the radio on and hears the score is Brazil 1 Scotland 0 . On hearing this he turns the radio off and the team start to relax. On 89 mins Ronaldinhio again puts the radio on and hears it is Brazil 1 Scotland 1.
Eventually Ronaldo returns to the hotel and says "Sorry lads, I let you all down". Ronaldinhio says "No you didn't a draw is a brilliant result for 1 man against 11". Ronaldo replies "Yeah, But I got sent off in the 12th minute". :D :D :D
Brazil are due to play Scotland at the World Cup, But the Brazilians can't be bothered. So Ronaldo says "Look lads this should be an easy game, in fact you lot stay at the hotel and I'll play Scotland on my own". At first the rest of the team are unsure about this, but after a bit of persuading they agree.
Back at the hotel, 10 mins into the game, Ronaldinhio puts the radio on and hears the score is Brazil 1 Scotland 0 . On hearing this he turns the radio off and the team start to relax. On 89 mins Ronaldinhio again puts the radio on and hears it is Brazil 1 Scotland 1.
Eventually Ronaldo returns to the hotel and says "Sorry lads, I let you all down". Ronaldinhio says "No you didn't a draw is a brilliant result for 1 man against 11". Ronaldo replies "Yeah, But I got sent off in the 12th minute". :D :D :D
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Quality!Former Prop wrote:Michael Owen walks into a bar and says to this blonde "get your coat your coming home with me"
She replies "oh, you are a little forward" :D
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How does David Beckham change a lightbulb?
He holds it in the air, and the world revolves around him.
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David Beckham turns up for training with a ferret on his head.
"Nice ferret" says Lampard
"Thanks" replies Becks "I got it for Victoria"
" That was a good swap " says Lampard.
He holds it in the air, and the world revolves around him.
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David Beckham turns up for training with a ferret on his head.
"Nice ferret" says Lampard
"Thanks" replies Becks "I got it for Victoria"
" That was a good swap " says Lampard.
Rooney goes in to see Sven for the decision on the Trinidad & Tobago game.
Sven says: "The bad news is that the doctors still don't think your foot is 100% right."
Rooney looks glum but Sven continues. "The good news is that they've agreed to give you a cortisone injection, and let you play."
Rooney goes hand springing round the office whooping in delight. Sven tells him to go off and tell his teammates. Off he goes and immediately bumps into Beckham.
"Blimey!" says Beckham, "You look happy."
"Not half!" says Rooney, "I've been to see the boss. I'm going to have a cortisone injection."
Beckham immediately has a face like thunder and storms off into Sven's office. He says: "Boss, I just heard you're giving Rooney a cortisone injection, that's pants that is."
Sven looks somewhat confused: "I thought you would be happy."
Beckham scowls back: "Look, I know he's good, but I'm the captain, so if anyone gets a car it should be me."
Sven says: "The bad news is that the doctors still don't think your foot is 100% right."
Rooney looks glum but Sven continues. "The good news is that they've agreed to give you a cortisone injection, and let you play."
Rooney goes hand springing round the office whooping in delight. Sven tells him to go off and tell his teammates. Off he goes and immediately bumps into Beckham.
"Blimey!" says Beckham, "You look happy."
"Not half!" says Rooney, "I've been to see the boss. I'm going to have a cortisone injection."
Beckham immediately has a face like thunder and storms off into Sven's office. He says: "Boss, I just heard you're giving Rooney a cortisone injection, that's pants that is."
Sven looks somewhat confused: "I thought you would be happy."
Beckham scowls back: "Look, I know he's good, but I'm the captain, so if anyone gets a car it should be me."
Kicks and scrums and ruck and roll.....Is all my brain and body need!
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Apologies to all 'snobs' out there, but this joke comes courtesy of The Sun.
Ronaldo walks into Burger King and says " Gimme two whoppers"
So the bloke behind the counter says "OK, you're not overweight and you're still good at football".
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Whats the difference between a teabag and Poland ?
A teabag stays in the cup longer.
Ronaldo walks into Burger King and says " Gimme two whoppers"
So the bloke behind the counter says "OK, you're not overweight and you're still good at football".
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Whats the difference between a teabag and Poland ?
A teabag stays in the cup longer.
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Great jokes
These are great guys, keep them coming, I need a laugh today thanks. Been emailing them to all my friends. :P
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