Things that Annoy You

[Kinoulton]

Quite so. And I had a colleague, an extremely nice gentleman I used to call "Grant from Bath", and he would always correct me "It's Grarnt from Barth".

A silly joke, but it was a little snigger between us about our regional differences and it's to be celebrated.

But I have Nottingham friends who have suddenly from nowhere decided they need to say "could you parse me a glarse" because they think it makes them posher. Neither is a mispronunciation, but my point is that a genuine high born person or an intellectual would never bother to change his/her accent, it is something that only the insecure middle classes do.

[h's dad]

I started a one man campaign up here to go back to pronouncing the t in bit, better, etc and to stop saying to waitresses "can I get a coke".

We are not posh up here, but iconic Yorkshireman like Harold Wilson, Ben Kingsley and Joe Cocker never spoke in such an idiotic way.

To be fair, the customers put up with my obsession and are definitely nicer to listen to now, without losing one iota of their proper Yorkshire accent.

As I say to my kids, "little" has got two t's in the middle. Please try and get at least one of them

[Kinoulton]

I like that.

[Bill W (2)]

The phrase "its simples".

Simple does not, isofar as I am aware, have a plural.

Some things (and people) may be more simple than others.

[BJ.]

But I have Nottingham friends who have suddenly from nowhere decided they need to say "could you parse me a glarse" because they think it makes them posher. Neither is a mispronunciation, but my point is that a genuine high born person or an intellectual would never bother to change his/her accent, it is something that only the insecure middle classes do.

Indeed. It's similar to the cockney 'h' that appears and disappears almost at random.

Two other groups that should learn to speak simple and plain English are police officers and those working on trains. I've lost count of the number of interviews I've seen in which police officers will spout out a long sentence when just a couple of words would have done the same job. For example, "He was a male driving his vehicle along the road when it was involved in a collision with a tree at which point he became tragically deceased." In other words, a man hit a tree and died.

I never used to know the ends of train carriages are called vestibules. When I used to regularly catch the train between Derby and London, I was often entertained by a strong South Yorkshire accent over the speaker telling me to 'familiarise myself with the safety posters situated in the carriage vestibules'.

[Rizzo]

Cold callers at the door.

I used to have a card in the window which said something about not buying from or selling to people who call at the house, not sure where it went when we re-decorated though.

I appreciate these people have to make a living,and going door to door trying to flog something can't be a fun job, but they now start their sales talk by telling you they're not trying to sell you anything!

[Kinoulton]

I used to warn people who were selling me a conservatory, car, or TV, not even think about going through the "finance deal" bit.

I would always say "my wife is a in finance, we have the moeny, and we aren't going to be drawn into a 34% APR, and even if you mention it, my wife may kill you".

But they can't bl**dy help it, can they?

And regards BJ's rant, there really is nothing worse than hearing a perfectly efficient copper suddenly making a t*t of himself by trying to talk clever in front of millions of people.

"Hit has not been possible at this juncture to hestablish the precise cause and circumstances leading to the sad demise of this person from this community but we are using hall of our resources to hascertain the motive and means behind this tragic hevent."

OK, you don't know yet but you're looking. Fine.

[DickyP]

The phrase "its simples".

Simple does not, isofar as I am aware, have a plural.

Some things (and people) may be more simple than others.

This is one I can live with up to a point. The advert with the meerkats from which the mangled English came is a stroke of marketing genius, even if has now outplayed its novelty. It explicitly wasn't supposed to be 'correct' English to emphasize the foreignness of the meerkats who ended up in Russia by accident.

That said I've now had enough of it.

[Phil B]

The advert with the meerkats from which the mangled English came is a stroke of marketing genius, even if has now outplayed its novelty.

I agree. But Meerketing genius, shurely????

[Kinoulton]

That's another thing that annoys me. I'm happy when accidentally a phrase from an advert enters the English culture. "Simples", "It does exactly what it says on the tin" etc, do get overused, but it's us that have done that, and not the advertisers.

What I detest is being beaten over the head by advertisers determined to make me say: "Quote me happy", "I want to do a poo in Henry's house", "It's the paint the trade uses"...... it's all excrutiatingly unintelligent, and no one has ever adopted any of those phrases.

Just show your product in a good light, and once in a blue moon the Great British public might take on board one of your strap lines. But not if you pound us with it.

Has anyone yet heard a real person say "Give me 500?"

[BJ.]

The green and red buttons that appear in the top right corner of my TV screen saying either 'Remind me' or 'Press'. They've now started popping up 5 seconds before the dross they're advertising.

If I don't have the intelligence to remember to set my machine to record something I (not them) want to watch, then I'll put it back in its box and send it away.

[Phil B]

Formula 1 coverage which drivels on about "so and so" going around T1, on Q2 and finishing up in P3 having misused his DRS.

.

[Nailsworthstiger]

I heard on the TV, Midlands Today I think it was and what was said was "...it is now just 100 days to the Official Olympic games." What???

So the word Official really annoys me. Official games, Official chocolate bars Official this and that. It must be the most over used word in the "Official" English language

[WhitecapTiger]

So the word Official really annoys me. .......It must be the most over used word in the "Official" English language

Unless you're Ben Youngs giving an interview....then the most overused word is obviously....obviously

When are the "Unofficial" olympic games being held? And are the British taxpayer expected to pay for those too?

[Old Hob]

The misuse of "epicentre". Radio 4 and other presenters seem to think it means "more central than any other central thingy" instead of what it really means.