For the pedants amongst us

[Rizzo]

..and I count myself in that number. This website page made me giggle several times.

http://www.happyplace.com/3645/the-best ... n-facebook

[Kinoulton]

Very funny.

It reminds me of when I was invited to join a Facebook group called (sic) "Your living in England so learn f****** English."

Now how ironic is that?

[DickyP]

If you want a superb source (or perhaps I should use sauce) for lots of these you should glance through the Times Ed each week. Such gems as "children with a flare for languages", "pairing to the bone" and "waist of time" are ones I remember.

[fleabane]

Oh Rizzo, thank you!

I have not had such an enjoyable read for a very long time.

[jack]

Mercy on us! Education rules! (But not everywhere)

[Kinoulton]

But keep up the pressure.

The girls at our yard now admit that when they write something on the white board, they read and re-read it, for fear of having their errors underlined by me, accompanied by my sarcastic comments.

They don't mind a bit. They admit that their English has improved and they've started to use new words like "miscreant", "obtuse" and "fastidious" which has broadneded their vocabulary and surprised their work colleagues.

In my tiny mind, when you stop learning, you may as well die.

[Old Hob]

So, you don't mind if I point out " broadneded"?

[DickyP]

But keep up the pressure.

The girls at our yard now admit that when they write something on the white board, they read and re-read it, for fear of having their errors underlined by me, accompanied by my sarcastic comments.

They don't mind a bit. They admit that their English has improved and they've started to use new words like "miscreant", "obtuse" and "fastidious" which has broadneded their vocabulary and surprised their work colleagues.

In my tiny mind, when you stop learning, you may as well die.

We used to have a 'Word of the Day' and everybody had to have a go at finding one in turn, then we all had to try and use it - all got be quite amusing.

[Ads677]

Aha, just found this thread, excellent. Over on the 'Fans Forum' there are plenty of common errors (as opposed to the occasional miss-spelled word, which we all succumb to from time to time). I particularly despair when "of" is used (regularly) instead of "have" or "'ve", or lead instead of led (which is commonly misused by many journalists so I don't suppose I should criticise that heavily).

One of the first really good howlers I saw was in my local newsagent about 20 years ago, where people regularly pinned up notices of items for sale, lost pets (not pinning up the actual lost pet!), etc, etc. In the 'For Sale' section someone had a "chester draws" available - took me a while to understand, although at least the writing was neat!

[Old Hob]

One that took me weeks and weeks to work out was a sign on a door which read: "Do not false"

Tell you later.

[Isambard]

in other words please the hinges on?

[Old Hob]

"Please, do not false": the owner of the shop had a VERY thick London accent and this was his phonetic spelling of his pronunciation of "force". "Please do not lean heavily on, or force the door shut" was the intended message.

[Kinoulton]

I genuinely had a neice (by maariage) who I was told was becoming a drummer. (She lived in Essex.)

My comparisons with Keith Moon etc went with little reaction until her parents found the truth.

She was doing drama. Apparently the words sound the same.

That's true that is, no sh**.

[DickyP]

In Lincoln there was a car wash with the notice "Your driving passed".

Took me a few moments to understand that it meant "You're driving past" and not that I was a good driver.

[Old Hob]

A passage (twice) from Lynn Truss's excellent book which demonstrates the true importance of punctuating properly:

Dear Jack,

I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me for other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever when we're apart. I can be forever happy - will you let me be yours?

Jill


Dear Jack,

I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are generous, kind, thoughtful people who are not like you. Admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me. For other men, I yearn. For you, I have no feelings whatsoever. When we're apart, I can be forever happy. Will you let me be? Yours

Jill