Emails and texts you wish you could suck back.

[Kinoulton]

I'm guessing we've all done it.

My boss sent a message clearly intended for a co-director saying: "Has Kinny lost the plot? Why does he want to employ that Denise woman? She's useless and as ugly as sin!"

Only he sent it to me.

He grovelled for days afterwards. I wasn't offended by it, but I could have finished his career with what he said about the lady, and he knew it. (Name changed, by the way.)

[madoqua]

An anti-Welsh rant I put on here once.

I go to South Wales at least twice a year and everyone is wonderful (along with geordies).

North Wales is a different kettle of fish but my generalisation was wrong.

[Bill W (2)]

Rien! Je ne regrette rien!!!

[madoqua]

Are you permanently pi$$ed Bill?

I'm learning about spirits.

[Bill W (2)]

Are you permanently pi$$ed Bill?

I'm learning about spirits.

Absolutely. And a great fan of Edith Piaf and Elaine Paige.

[Kinoulton]

I get a lot of those terribly offensive jokes by text, and if I think they're funny, then I'll forward them to lots of friends.

One friend, a female Police Constable, complained that I never sent her any of these jokes.

It turned out that I'd been sending these horrible jokes to her old work mobile number which was no longer hers. That particular number was now being used by the Chief Constable.

[Bill W (2)]

That particular number was now being used by the Chief Constable.

And thus began a beautiful friendship?????

[Rizzo]

No, but I have received a text which was meant for someone else. Was on my way to a gig (in the days when I used to write reviews for a rock mag) and received a text from the guitarist saying "I forgot the talk box, Jan is going to slaughter me in print, am not going to tell her, we'll just wing it.." He obviously intended it for one of the others in the band.

So I walked in and greeted him with "forgot the talkbox, did you?" He spent the rest of the evening grovelling

[cornish tigress]

Um....what's a talk box?

One of my customers keeps phoning me as I am next to his mother on his speed dial. It's always funny as he tries to think of a reason why he's rung and I know he just wanted his mum!

[Bill W (2)]

One of my customers keeps phoning me as I am next to his mother on his speed dial. It's always funny as he tries to think of a reason why he's rung and I know he just wanted his mum!

Ah you sure? Maybe he is a secret admirer.

Like Kinny's chief constable could be the start of a beautiful friendship!!

[Rizzo]

Um....what's a talk box?

A talk box is a music sound effect - if you are old enough to remember Peter Frampton's song "Show Me The Way" it's the thing that makes the vocal come out sort of computer sounding. It's made by a tube running along the mic stand and the musician uses the voice and mouth to change and manipulate the sound.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk_box

[Sherpa2]

When I was about to take off from Helsinki a couple of weeks ago I sat and composed a lovey dovey text to my wife as we were due to leave on holiday the next day and I had been on trip after trip for the last couple of months.

Just finished it as they started to close the doors and quickly sent it as the trolley dolly was descending on me.

Landed at Heathrow, switched on phone and received a reply from my boss saying he had forwarded it to Sue for me

[guesswho]

Just spotted this one, thought i would chuck my latest mess up in here.
Was going out on a date, went to text a friend saying something along the lines of he is soooooooo gorgeous hot hot hot, how shall i do my hair?
Only to receive a reply from him saying thanks for calling me hot hot hot, but its dinner at my place, dont need to make too much effort!
Needless to say, I didnt make much effort in response. haha

[Kinoulton]

True story.

A colleague of mine (who I don't like much) managed to bed some girl from a different office whilst we were all away at a conference.

The morning after, he gave the girl his business card, which is a bit cheesey, but there you go.

Anyway, he must have given her a good time, because later that day she texted him to say what a wonderful time she'd had in the sack and made some lewd references to things they had done.

Unfortunately he'd accidentally given her an old business card which still had his old mobile phone number which he no longer used.

He'd given it to his wife.

He knew nothing about it until that evening when he arrived home to find the doors locked and bolted and his clothes in a suitcase on the drive.

She never took him back.

[Old Hob]

Not electronic but real words out of my mouth:

Doing a course on Domestic Violence and trying to engender enthusiasm to act differently.
ME: Many women don't report.... average 35 assaults before going to refuge... yadda yadda. Need to get their confidence so we can act...

THEM:

ME: C,mon guys this is a group we've really got to hit.