CYCLISTS Grrrrrrr

[Gate]

Thought police can have your bike, though. Then you'd be a ghost pedestrian and have to contend with spirit buggies, spectral mobility scooters and ghost cyclists on the unquiet pavement. Then you'd get REALLY angry.

[Bill W (2)]

Avoid turning right after tunnels.

Kinny may be behind you and make the wrong decision!!

Of course it may be a ghost train going over the tunnel!!!

Here they come to steal my soul
(Ghost train)
Wait it out until I know
(Ghost train)
Trying not to feel like you did
(Ghost train)
Moving up until I go go-o
(Ghost train)

[Rizzo]

Some of you really need to get out more...

[Gate]

I am an unquiet spirit, doomed to haunt the board of the Tiger until the stain is removed from the tribal honour by the destruction of the Pest. So I can't get out. It's the spectral chains, you see. Clank, clank. WooOOOOooo.

[Kinoulton]

Thought police can have your bike, though. Then you'd be a ghost pedestrian and have to contend with spirit buggies, spectral mobility scooters and ghost cyclists on the unquiet pavement. Then you'd get REALLY angry.

If you do lose your bike, then I've been told there are a couple of bikes in Kinoulton that anyone can ride.

I think they may have buckled wheels and no brakes though.

My mate said they are a bit unstable but there's absolutely no stopping them.

[Bill W (2)]

I've heard they both go like trains Kinny!

Returning to topic - Boris Johnson likes cycling.

[madoqua]

Wooooo

I floated over to Kinoulton.

Bikes no good. Been thrashed, fitted with re-treads and, worst of all, flat all round.

I get funny looks when I cycle now. The bike is still visible you see.

Causing accidents everywhere. What fun!

Wooooo.

[Kinoulton]

To be fair, Madoqua, if you really were invisible, you wouldn't be wasting your time cycling, and neither would I.

I think the invisibility cloak would lead me to Kylie Minogue's dressing room, the Dalwhinnie distillery, a garage that sells Ferraris, back to Kylie Minogue's dressing room, and then just for a laugh, I'd visit a lonely Al Fayed and wail: "Yes, we did kill Diana. And you're next!"

[Bill W (2)]

As I drove back from Tescos this morning two lady cyclists clad in the regulation lycra and crash hats swerved in front of the car in front of me (from a side road) causing him to swerve, narrowly avoiding an oncoming car.

They then proceeded to ride two abreast down the High Street (oblivious to the traffic build up behind them) and straight through a set of red traffic lights.

[fleabane]

That's alright then, Bill!

[DCat]

And then there's people (well that's open to opinion), usually teenage boys, who cycle on the pavements while talking on their mobile phones.

Now that is stupid!

I have ranty words for people like that, but they are only shoutable, not printable!

[Bill W (2)]

And then there's people (well that's open to opinion), usually teenage boys, who cycle on the pavements while talking on their mobile phones.

Now that is stupid!

I have ranty words for people like that, but they are only shoutable, not printable!

Better than riding on the road whilst on their mobile 'phones!! Only thing to hit on pavements is pedestrians - minor damage. Hitting a ten ton truck on the road is life threatening!

[fleabane]

Unfortunately not minor damage when they hit my (then) 85 year old mother who was on the pavement.

[Gate]

I tend to wait until they're just past, and then accidentally make foot contact with the back wheel so they come a cropper or have a job trying not to. If you hop up and down a bit as of bruised foot and look accusing, there's no comeback. Have to be wearing proper tough footwear, though. I do wonder from time to time about sticking my umbrella through the spokes so they really lose it, but that would mean wasting a good brolly on a two-wheeled scrote.

[Kinoulton]

I found some tanned leggy fit bint stuck at the side of our country road with a stricken bike.

It was a muddle. Her chain had come off and wapped itself around almost everything. I spent half an hour of sweat untangling everything and putting the bike back to order.

What thanks did I get? She stripped off all her clothes and said: "Come on, you can have anything you want from me."

Well clearly none of her clothes were ever going to fit me, so I said a polite "goodbye" and left in a huff.