The stupid things people say

[Rizzo]

One of my co-workers announced a while ago that she had had a great night out "over the weekend". She was telling me about it and I asked if it had been Friday night or Saturday night. She said "Oh I was at my Mum's on Saturday and Sunday and I stayed over, and on Friday night I was at the pictures...it was a couple of nights before that..."
I said "..so that'd be Wednesday then..." She thought a minute and nodded.

Obviously her concept of "weekend" is different to mine!

[Kinoulton]

BJ's example reminds of Stephen Fry on QI when he said that true centipedes had between 21 and 23 pairs of legs.

To which Alan Davies commented. "That's 22 then."

Not stupid, but funny at the time.

[Kinoulton]

Here's another for your collection I saw last night in a M1 services.

"This electrical apperatus is temporarily out of use due to a technical malfunction. We are sorry for any inconvenience this may cause."

This was posted on an absolutely destroyed hand drier.

"B*ggered" would have done.

[Capricorn]

People who say "see you later" when you are not going to see them for months!

[DCat]

A weather forecaster this evening (BBC East Midlands, if I rightly recall) was talking about frozen ice.

Eh?

I suppose there is dry ice, but that is chemist territory, not meterologist.

[Kinoulton]

Wind chill factor.

It's a meaningless bl**dy gimmick that helps no one.

If the temperature is 3 degress, it's three degrees.

That's all there is to it, and regardless of wind chill factor (ooo it's going to feel like minus 7!), your pipes won't freeze, the roads won't ice over, and your house won't feel any colder than any other 3 degree day.

[CJ]

and while we're on meteorologists - a 'snow event'. it snowed - that's all. a snow event would be something like a skiing competition.

[Kinoulton]

Road closures due to a "police incident".

What's that? A long queue of them at the doughnut van?

[Gate]

Your next station stop will be..." As opposed to what other sort of stop? A "way out there in the back of beyond stop"?

[Rizzo]

The weather girl on Radio Leicester tonight "there's a possibility of more snow, and of course as there's already snow lying on the ground, any new falls of snow will settle on top of that and accumulate...."

No, really? I thought any new snow might burrow underneath that on the ground so as to keep colder!

[Kinoulton]

Oh come on, give these railway announcers a chance.

Just think how much stuff you'd have lost if it wasn't for that half-wit telling you to take all your items of personal belonging with you when you get off the train.

[Headers]

Sat at the dinner table the other night and my wife asked

"When is it Shrove Tuesday"

And with out thinking my eldest daughter said

"I think its next weekend "

You can not make this stuff up and she is not even blond

[madoqua]

I go 'like' spotting on trains.

Young females on the phone........

'Well like it's like Wayne said let's like go to town like and er like it's like great if we could, like hang out like and go down' Wetherspoons and like meet with Nadine and her mates like and like chill out like.

Trust me, I've heard worse.

[h's dad]

My kids do the "like" thing and no matter how much I pick them up on it or take the mickey (not sure if this is the right approach) I can't seem to get them out of the habit.

Nearly as bad is "you know", especially when it seems to be 20% of the comment on television and radio interviews. If your brain needs to catch up with your mouth, just keep your mouth closed for half a second instead of repeating that phrase.

Unfortunately my brain is so far behind my mouth, it's never going to catch up.

[DCat]

This isn't stupid, I just thought it was funny in yesterday's Metro:

There are ten people in the world - those who understand binary and those who don't.