Confessions

Kinoulton · Post by **Kinoulton** » Fri Oct 24, 2008 2:30 pm

Does anyone remember the feature on Simon Mayo's Radio 1 show. People would confees to something they'd never admitted to before.

One I remember vividly was the chap who was trying to prove that a rogue factory was sending its untreated waste straight into a nearby river.

He bought some red dye and went to the location. Following the instructions, he diluted a tiny quantity of dye into a bucket of water, poured it into one of the factories drains and then went to the river to see if the red water came out anywhere.

It didn't.

Disappointed, he decided that the mixture must surely have been hardly colourful at all, so he quadrupled the dose and poured another bucketful in.

Still nothing.

In frustration, he simply poured the rest of the red dye into the drain hole.

At last, red water started to appear in the river, case proven.

But then, the river got redder and redder and soon was completely red.

He panicked and ran.

But for several days later (and I do remember this) the newspapers and TV news carried stories of how everything at the riverside, including quite a few sheep, were dyed red.

And ironically, everyone suspected the rogue factory for causing it.

Anyone got their own confession to make? (Nothing X-rated please!)

Sherpa2 · Post by **Sherpa2** » Fri Oct 24, 2008 5:56 pm

When I was an awful lot younger and working part time at a Petrol Station I used to phone people up when I was bored and tell them I was from BT and that we had a cable shortage so we were asking everyone to move their phones closer to the sockets so that we could pull the wires back - you would be amazed at how many people fell for it, some even threatening to write in complaining because it would mean the phone would be in an inconvenient place!

DCat · Post by **DCat** » Fri Oct 24, 2008 8:38 pm

Sherps

Absolutely love that!

It's amazing what people will fall for.

Confession? I wouldn't dare!

Rizzo · Post by **Rizzo** » Fri Oct 24, 2008 8:56 pm

Confession: I once rang up my boyfriend of the time, who was sweet but thick, from a phone box in the village and I put on an American accent and pretended to be my own cousin Cathy from Arizona visiting the family, and I told him that my cousin (me) was flirting and kissing with another lad, and that he should dump her (me). (You follow me so far?)
Thing was, I had been trying to drop hints that we should break it off, I was too soft (or cowardly) to tell him to his face (and he was rather obsessive anyway...)
We didn't have text or email then to dump someone at a distance, so I tried being my own "cousin" and all I got was him telling me it was all a mistake because he was going to propose at the weekend!
Thankfully that gave me the nudge I needed, and I did break it off face to face before he had a chance to ask me to get engaged. He was upset and very obsessive about asking me if I was seeing anyone else, or planning to...and he'd heard from "someone close" that I was planning on dating this other lad.

I never did let on that my "cousin from Arizona" was actually me putting on an accent, he never realised, and I felt guilty. For about a week.

Kinoulton · Post by **Kinoulton** » Sat Oct 25, 2008 10:46 am

Rizzo and Sherpa. Both evil and brilliant.

Once as a junior operator working on a night shift I kept getting really angry phone calls from some bloke.

I was very intimidated and tried to appease him but he just got angrier and angrier.

I told my shift leader about it. I lied that I'd given this guy a right gobfull and that I'd told him not to ring back again and he could f... right off.

"No you didn't." says my shift leader. "That was me on the phone, and you were a total whimp."

Did I feel daft?

westy154 · Post by **westy154** » Tue Oct 28, 2008 12:42 pm

Rizzo you evil genius!

Confession: I once nearly set fire to about 100 acres of corn. We were young, in our teens and playing with matches in the corn fields behind our house. after starting a fire it began growing quite quickly and we were really struggling to stop it getting out of hand. we considered bailing out, and running to the other side of the town for the rest of the day, but gave it once last chance and finally doused it out with the assistance of, er, human hoses...

Never did play with fire quite so much after that...

westy154 · Post by **westy154** » Tue Oct 28, 2008 12:47 pm

Not a confession but a funny story: A work colleague snuck in one morning without the Team Leader seeing. He immediately hid under his desk urging us all to be quiet, then rang the Team Leader using his mobile phone. He told him he didn't want to work today and wasn't bothering to come in, had a bit of an argument with him and then hung up.

The Team Leader puts the phone down and starts ranting at us about how lazy this chap was, and after about a minute of being slagged off, the chap popped up from behind his desk. The look on the Team Leaders face was priceless and the rest of us just fell about laughing.

0

Tiggers · Post by **Tiggers** » Mon Nov 03, 2008 5:40 pm

Rizzo that was genius

Think I may try that

Rizzo · Post by **Rizzo** » Mon Nov 03, 2008 7:53 pm

Tiggers, it depends on how good you are at doing an accent that's not your own and thus not easily recognisable.

Kinoulton · Post by **Kinoulton** » Mon Nov 03, 2008 8:08 pm

I can't stand people to be orderly beyond all normal reason. So if I'm in a house and find the CDs filed in alphabetical order, I pretend to rummage through them with great interest, but actually I'm just shuffling them as much as I possibly can.

I once had a particularly finnicky housemate, the sort who would leave messages stuck around if you loaded a spoon the "wrong way up" in the dishwasher. (To this day I don't know what the "right way" is, or why on Earth there should even be a right way.)

Anyway, I walked through the kitchen to find that she'd put four eggs in a pan to boil. So I nicked one whilst she wasn't looking and hid it.

The effect was unbelievable. I was expecting a giggle, but we got an absolute nervous breakdown. Tremendous fun.

Why are people like that?

The Cat · Post by **The Cat** » Tue Nov 04, 2008 10:34 am

The correct way to load the dishwasher is with the prongs of the forks and the blades of the knives pointing upwards . Not sure why , maybe to allow better water flow .

I'll get me coat .

Jim__2 · Post by **Jim__2** » Tue Nov 04, 2008 11:40 am

That would be a good idea Cat!

Like Westy, not a confession but a funny story.

About a month ago, my friend and I were on a walk and we walked through a wood. My friend claimed that nettles with yellow leaves have lost their sting and, therefore, cannot sting you. Whether this is true I do not know, but I said to him that he should prove it. Being the idiot my friend is, he actually did attempt to prove his point. He found a nettle with a yellow leaf and touched the top of it. From my knowledge I know you have to touch the side of the leaf for it to work properly. So I mentioned that to him! And he actually did touch the side of the leaf and stung himself. He's silly like that and at any point could've easily have said no..

Jess · Post by **Jess** » Tue Nov 04, 2008 1:26 pm

My friend was really really drunk once, to the extent that he couldn't remember much of the night the next day. We convinced him that he thew up on one of our other friends, even though he didn't and he still doesn't know otherwise!

cornish tigress · Post by **cornish tigress** » Wed Nov 12, 2008 7:15 pm

The Cat wrote:The correct way to load the dishwasher is with the prongs of the forks and the blades of the knives pointing upwards

In our house that is called the "fork of death" and is not allowed. But then we don't use the dishwasher ever, and when you go to pick up and dry a "fork of death" you get pronged.

What was the topic again?...

DCat · Post by **DCat** » Wed Nov 12, 2008 7:41 pm

I was tempted to say Fork Off, but decided not to.

Oops. Did I say that out loud?