I met this really kinky girl last night. 'Humiliate me,' she said ... So I bought her a Tottenham shirt
Haringey council has blocked Tottenham's plans to build a new ground on Northumberland Park. A town hall source said: "We don't mind having a funfair there once a year, but a circus every fortnight is a bit much."
"I was playing Scrabble and had enough letters to make 'Tottenham Hotspur Football Club'. I was gutted when I found out it was only worth two points."
Tesco are releasing new Oxo cubes in Spurs colours. Customers are told to look out for laughing stocks.
A young boy goes to social services and tells them he has nowhere to live.
"What about your parents?" asks the social worker. "No, they beat me," says the boy. "What about your grandparents?" says the social worker. "No, they beat me even harder!" says the boy. "Well ... where do you want to stay then?" replies the social worker. "Tottenham," says the boy. "They don't beat anyone.
· What do a toothpick and Tottenham have in common? They both have two points
Juande Ramos, shortly after another training session, comments to the head groundsman at White Hart Lane how impressive the pitch is looking. "It ought to," replies the groundsman. "We put 70 million quid's worth of manure on it every week."
I just went down to the newsagents and bought Tottenham Hotspur magazine.
Thank goodness they had porn mags to hide it in.
· What does a Spurs fan do after he sees his team win? Turns off the Xbox
After leaving San Siro, Jose Mourinho was asked if he was going to help Spurs get out of their slump. He turned around and said, "No way, I ain't that special".
Apparently the entire Tottenham squad have been busy honing their skills playing the computer game Championship Manager. Sadly it seems Juande misunderstood and thinks they want to play for a Championship manager.
What do the Premier League and a cowboy have in common? They both have spurs at their feet.
A man was found dead floating in the Thames, wearing a blond wig, full make-up, bra, knickers, suspenders and a Spurs shirt. Before informing the next of kin the police removed the Spurs shirt to save the family embarrassment.
What would an improved version of Spurs be called? Newcastle United.
Did you hear that Juande Ramos was clocked doing 169mph on the M1 coming back from Stoke? Apparently he was just so desperate for three points.
· Is it just me or are Spurs the team to beat this season? Everyone's at it.
A man is sitting in a pub with his jack russell dog one Sunday afternoon.
The football results are coming up on the television in the corner: "Stoke City 2, Tottenham Hotspur 1," reads the announcer. Suddenly the jack russell jumps up and shouts out, "Oh, no, not again." The shocked landlord says, "That's amazing. Why did he say that when it was announced that Tottenham lost?" "Because he's a Spurs supporter," the dog's owner replies. The landlord then asks what the dog says when Tottenham win a match, to which the man replies, "I don't know. I've only had him six months."
When a groggy Vedran Corluka regained consciousness in the ambulance leaving the Britannia Stadium on Sunday he asked medical staff who he was. On being told he played football for Tottenham Hotspur he lapsed into a coma.
All trains through White Hart Lane have been cancelled due to a massive points failure.
What's the difference between Juande Ramos and a cowboy? A cowboy wears Spurs on his boots whereas Ramos is a :censored: manager.
What does THFC stand for? Tottenham Heading For the Championship.
A little boy gets £10 for his birthday and rushes down to the sports shop to buy the new football he has been desperate for. He gives the ball to the shopkeeper, who says, "Sorry, son, this ball is £20. You only have £10". The boy says, "OK, if you blindfold me and I can guess the name of the club on any ball, will you give it to me for £10?" He agrees and gives the boy an Arsenal ball. "I can hear cannons blasting, so it's an Arsenal ball." Next he gives him a Millwall ball: "I hear lions, so it's Millwall." Amazed, the shopkeeper says, "Get this and you can have it for nothing." The boy listens and says Spurs. The man asks if he's heard a cockerel. "No," says the boy.
"It's going down."
What's the difference between Bigfoot and the Spurs defence? Bigfoot has been spotted several times.
Spurs have been forced to rename their ground "White Lane" because their "Hart" was surgically removed when Berbatov and Keane were sold
Tottenham Hotspur jokes
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Tottenham Hotspur jokes
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westwinds31
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cornish tigress
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Yes, tell him things could be worse.cornish tigress wrote:I am married to a Tottenham fan. It is a difficult time for me. I have not emailed him these due to hearing enough yelling twice a week through the house. We don't want to anger it.Any other Tottenham fans out there? Any words of comfort I can pass on?
I'm a Forest fan.
Kicks and scrums and ruck and roll.....Is all my brain and body need!
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westwinds31
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I don't wish relegation on any club really, except perhaps Derby and Forest, but Spurs epitomise everything that is wrong in football for me at the moment. On paper they are a star-studded group of quality international players with talent across the pitch.
Reality is that they are overpaid, talentless individuals who are clueless and in a downward spiral with nowhere to go. They were among the 2 or 3 clubs tipped to (possibly) break into the Top 4 - don't make me laugh ! I've got more respect for Hull City...great teamwork, playing for each other with a huge passion for the club. Everything that Tottenham Hotspur aren't in fact. Ask Modric etc about the great Spurs team of the 70s or the Cup winning exploits of Ardiles and Villa and they will more than likely look blankly at you.
Reality is that they are overpaid, talentless individuals who are clueless and in a downward spiral with nowhere to go. They were among the 2 or 3 clubs tipped to (possibly) break into the Top 4 - don't make me laugh ! I've got more respect for Hull City...great teamwork, playing for each other with a huge passion for the club. Everything that Tottenham Hotspur aren't in fact. Ask Modric etc about the great Spurs team of the 70s or the Cup winning exploits of Ardiles and Villa and they will more than likely look blankly at you.
Must be summat wrong with the club then, because when Dawson and Jenas were playing for a young Forest side, they'd have walked over hot coals for the team.
Absolutely committed, and they were being paid next to :censored: all in those days.
Absolutely committed, and they were being paid next to :censored: all in those days.
Kicks and scrums and ruck and roll.....Is all my brain and body need!
Back in my youth I followed Arsenal, so this is all I have to contribute to this thread..... http://tinyurl.com/2a5o9
the only words of support i can suggest is: at least you arent portsmouth. Spurs have gone from being a hated team in southampton to being the loved team lol.
Im married to a spurs fan who is also a wasps fan (yes i know how to pick them). So you could tell your husband at least he doesnt support two teams who are playing bad! lol
Im married to a spurs fan who is also a wasps fan (yes i know how to pick them). So you could tell your husband at least he doesnt support two teams who are playing bad! lol
Better to live one year as a tiger, than a hundred as a sheep.
Dreading Tonight !!!!!!
Yes as you can guess I am a Spurs fan !!!!!DREADING tonight as I have a very good friend who is a Gunner and have a horrible feeling that I will be the butt of even more jokes than posted on the web site ! So wish me luck and please please just give the Spurs a little cheer on just for me ! Ta T x
ps I hate to say this but Arsenal play some good football .
and that is a really hard thing for a Spurs fan to say..........I think I will go for a lie down now !!!!
ps I hate to say this but Arsenal play some good football .
and that is a really hard thing for a Spurs fan to say..........I think I will go for a lie down now !!!!You were dead and buried until JJ got you back on track!
Good game.
Good game.
Last edited by Kinoulton on Mon Nov 03, 2008 8:28 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Kicks and scrums and ruck and roll.....Is all my brain and body need!
Thank You Kinoulton !!
It was a fantastic game , it just shows what ever the sport put a good person in charge and good things start to happen !! Remind you of another team a little closer to home ?????
Tx
Tx
