funniest ever movie/tv lines

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burly bill mclaren
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funniest ever movie/tv lines

Post by burly bill mclaren » Wed Sep 26, 2007 8:19 pm

fletch whistles "born free...till somebody caught me."

steptoe senior talking harold out of the wedding reads out of his hymn book,
"fight the good fight, very apt. Ye though we walk into the valley of death"

ron "Anchorman" burgundy has a breakdown when his pet chawawa is chucked off a bridge by jack black, answers phone all drunk and broken, "BAXTER , Baxter is that you? pls let it be so, bark twice if you're in milwaukee

"Now Greg , Im a patient man, 4 years in a viet prison camp will do that to you, but if you corrupt my 1st born child I will bring you down, down to chinatown."-nightmare father in law deniro

dont knock mastur*ation, its sex with someone I love
-woody allen
I dont fear death I just dont wannabe around when it happens- woody allen

"Panther scent works 50% of the time, every time.-anchorman

everything alan partridge ever says, "Monkey Tennis?"

carry on camping, sid boggle and berie tink its a nue site, the sign reads, all asses must be shown, mr fiddler takesthe mony and returns with a letter P to make it passes. "Sorry just went fo p."
sid gutted

sid "how much is the site "
Fiddler-"pound,per person. Ok. Oh and per vehicle, oh and for the ground rent.
sid, "per person or per tent.
fiddler,"um whichever is the greater."

infamy infamy theyve all got it in for me

I cant say married, It fine but waking up to the same face drives me crazy. Just ff of for 5 yrs then we'll FFF like rabbits."_r pryor

etc
H E RICHARDS

scouse tiger
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Post by scouse tiger » Thu Sep 27, 2007 3:56 pm

Guess where the following Classic lines are from (should be easy)- but name the episode.

Manuel: "Qué?"
Mrs. Richards: "What? "
Manuel: "Qué?"
Mrs. Richards: "K?"
Manuel: "Sí."
Mrs. Richards: "KC? KC? What are you trying to say?"
Manuel: "No, no no no. Qué, "what.""
Mrs. Richards: "K. Watt? "
Manuel: "Sí: qué, "what."
Mrs. Richards: "C.K. Watt? "
Manuel: "Yes. "
Mrs. Richards: "Who is this C.K. Watt? "
Manuel: "Qué? "
Mrs. Richards: "Is he the manager? "
Manuel: "Oh, Manajer. "
Mrs. Richards: "He is. "
Manuel: "Ah, Mr. Fawlty. "
Mrs. Richards: "Oh, what are you talking about, you silly little man?"

Mrs. Richards(to Polly): "Girl, I start to ask this man about my room, and he tells me the manager is a Mr. Watt, aged forty. "
Manuel: "No, no no. "Fawwl-ty."
Mrs. Richards: "Faulty? What's wrong with him?"
My Wild Oats Have turned to Shredded Wheat

burly bill mclaren
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Post by burly bill mclaren » Thu Sep 27, 2007 4:02 pm

stil fresh as a daisy awesome
yes minister must surely have many all time classcs
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Kinoulton
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Post by Kinoulton » Thu Sep 27, 2007 5:43 pm

For me, it has to be Fletch in Porridge when he has to go to see the Medical Officer.

MO: Suffer from any illness?
Fletch: Bad feet.
MO: Suffer from any illness?
Fletch: Bad feet!
MO: Paid a recent visit to a doctor or hospital?
Fletch: Only with my bad feet! ...
MO: Are you now or have you at any time been a practicing homosexual.
Fletch: What, with these feet?
Kicks and scrums and ruck and roll.....Is all my brain and body need!

cornish tigress
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Post by cornish tigress » Thu Sep 27, 2007 6:30 pm

Bill Nighy in Love Actually being interviewed on Ant and Dec about his song. "That's a very interesting question, um, Ant or Dec"

I don't know why I find that so funny, but it just curls me up because I can never remember which is which and really, who cares?
Don't mess with the Mothers!

http://www.matthampson.co.uk

Wayne Richardson Fan Club
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Post by Wayne Richardson Fan Club » Thu Sep 27, 2007 6:36 pm

Father Ted trying to explain perspective to Father Dougal with a toy cow....genius.
To win is not as important as playing with style!

Former Prop
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Post by Former Prop » Thu Sep 27, 2007 10:27 pm

Another Porridge one:

"Can you fill that bottle?"
"What from here?"

And the all time classic

"Vot is your name?"
"Don't tell 'em Pike"
Our period of waiting is over - this is the time.

burly bill mclaren
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Post by burly bill mclaren » Fri Sep 28, 2007 1:59 pm

pretty much everything ronnie barker said or did was simply pure gold. Remember the :censored: where he got every word just slightly wrong enough, or the four candles, fork handles farce with his buddie ronnie corbett?
H E RICHARDS

banbury tiger
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Post by banbury tiger » Fri Sep 28, 2007 5:18 pm

Team America!

Gary Johnston: OK, a limosine that can fly. Now I have seen everything.
Spottswoode: Really? Have you seen a man eat his own head?
Gary Johnston: No.
Spottswoode: So then, you haven't seen everything.


Spottswoode: From what I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.N.C.E has gathered, it would be 9/11 times 100.
Gary Johnston: 9/11 times a hundred? Jesus, that's...
Spottswoode: Yes, 91,100.
Chris: Basically, all the worst parts of the bible.


Kim Jong Il: It will be 911 times 2356.
Chris: My God, that's... I don't even know what that is!
Kim Jong Il: Nobody does!


song: ["End of an Act"] I miss you more than Michael Bay missed the mark, When he made Pearl Harbor. / I miss you more than that movie missed the point, And that's an awful lot, girl. / And now, now you've gone away, And all I'm trying to say, is: Pearl Harbor sucked and I miss you. / I need you like Ben Affleck needs acting school, He was terrible in that film. / I need you like Cuba Gooding needed a bigger part, He's way better than Ben Affleck. / And now, all I can think about is your smile, and that sh**ty movie, too! Pearl Harbor sucked and I miss you. / Why does Michael Bay get to keep on making movies? / I guess Pearl Harbor sucked, just a little bit more than I miss you.


Chris: I'll drill two holes through your d**k so that when you pee it shoots out in all different directions.


Spottswoode: Now hold on team, Gary has already proven to me that he is 100% committed to the team. He proved it last night by sucking my c**k.


Many more classic ones but most two explicit to put on here.
Tigers forever ! Tuilagi Rules!!
Get well soon Hazza.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leicester_Tigers

westwinds31
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Post by westwinds31 » Fri Sep 28, 2007 11:14 pm

Fawlty Towers:

Basil: "What did you expect to see out of a Torquay hotel bedroom window, Hanging Gardens of Babylon, Sydney Opera House perhaps, herds of wilderbeats sweeping majestically....."

Can't remember which film, was it Pink Panther ?

(to Peter Sellers) "Does your dog bite?"
(Sellers): "No"
(Dog promptly bites man)
(man): "I thought you said your dog didn't bite ?"
(Sellers): "It's not my dog !"

Agree with Two Ronnies, classics all of them !

banbury tiger
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Post by banbury tiger » Sat Sep 29, 2007 8:52 pm

^ agreed Fawlty towers is awesome!
Tigers forever ! Tuilagi Rules!!
Get well soon Hazza.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leicester_Tigers

Burly Bob Ferrari
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Post by Burly Bob Ferrari » Wed Oct 03, 2007 1:21 pm

that bit in scooby doo when they find out that the ghost was actually the fairground owner

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Post by Hairy Egg » Thu Oct 04, 2007 2:03 pm

Monty Python:

"Is this the right room for an argument?"

"I've told you once"

"No you haven't"

etc. etc. :smt023

RayDTuTu
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Post by RayDTuTu » Thu Oct 04, 2007 7:32 pm

Father Ted.

Ted: He [Jack] is agrophobic.
Dougle: Father Jack, afraid of fighting! I don't think so Ted.

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Post by Kinoulton » Fri Oct 05, 2007 9:47 am

Hitchhiker's Guide to the galaxy:

Ford Prefect: (explaning what's happened) Eddies in the space-time continuum.

Arthur Dent: Is he?
Kicks and scrums and ruck and roll.....Is all my brain and body need!

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