I'll start with some Douglas Adams ones:
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.
She is the least benightedly unintelligent organic lifeform it has ever been my distinct lack of pleasure not to have been able to avoid meeting.
A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof was to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.
Quotes for the Weekend
Moderators: Tigerbeat, Rizzo, Tigers Press Office, Tigers Webmaster
Quotes for the Weekend
Kicks and scrums and ruck and roll.....Is all my brain and body need!
-
- Gold Member
- Posts: 1455
- Joined: Fri Jan 27, 2006 10:06 pm
- Location: Currently Haifa, Israel. Formerly Oadby, England.
Along the Douglas Adams lines:
I dreamt that all my friends were sent to heaven and hell, and I was sent to Somerset.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer.
Others:
I'm freeee. - Mr Humphries (John Inman RIP) from Are You Being Served?
They say there are two kinds of chairs for two kinds of ministers. One sort that goes round and round in circles, and the other sort that folds up instantly. - Bernard Woolley from Yes, Minister.
And my personal favourite:
I'm putting our top #8 in at #6 for the match against France.
I dreamt that all my friends were sent to heaven and hell, and I was sent to Somerset.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer.
Others:
I'm freeee. - Mr Humphries (John Inman RIP) from Are You Being Served?
They say there are two kinds of chairs for two kinds of ministers. One sort that goes round and round in circles, and the other sort that folds up instantly. - Bernard Woolley from Yes, Minister.
And my personal favourite:
I'm putting our top #8 in at #6 for the match against France.
Kinoulton wrote:Surely that's much more in depth than your average corporate box punter can tolerate. How about "If the entire crowd shut up, you shut up. Otherwise we'll close your bar."
-
- Silver Member
- Posts: 615
- Joined: Tue Jan 17, 2006 10:38 am
- Location: Gloucester
In 1946, Winston Churchill traveled to Fulton, Missouri, to deliver a speech, which turned out to be his famous Iron Curtain address, and to be present at the dedication of a bust in his honor. After his speech, a rather attractive and ample woman approached the wartime prime minister of England and said, “Mr. Churchill, I traveled more than a hundred miles this morning for the unveiling of your bust.” Churchill, who was known far and wide for his quick wit, replied, “Madam, I assure you, in that regard I would gladly return the favor.”
Awesome!
and better still:
I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.
Awesome!
and better still:
I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.