Hurrican

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Kinoulton
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Hurrican

Post by Kinoulton » Fri Jul 07, 2006 11:46 am

Hurricane Shazza hit in the early hours of Monday. Epicentre: Basildon,Essex.

Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly, muttering
'faaaackinell'.

The hurricane decimated the area causing approximately £30.00 worth of damage. Several priceless collections of mementos from the Balearics and Spanish Costas were damaged beyond repair.

Three areas of historic burnt out cars were disturbed.

Many locals were woken well before their giros
arrived!!

Essex FM reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered, still trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting had happened in Basildon.

One resident - Tracy Sharon Smith, a 15-year-old mother of 5 said "Jesus! It was a well big shock, d'ya know what I mean? me lil Chardonnay-Mercedes come runnin into me bedroom cryin. Me youngest two, Tyler-Morgan and Megan-Storm slept froo it all, d'ya know what I mean? I was still shakin when I was watchin Trisha the next morning. Ya know what I mean don't ya?"

Apparently though, looting, muggings and car crime did carry on as normal.

The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of Sunny Delight to the area to help the stricken locals.

Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings, including benefit books, jewellery from Elizabeth Duke at Argos and Bone China from Poundland.

HOW CAN YOU HELP?

This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those
unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster.

Clothing is most sought after - items most needed include:
- Louis Vuitton or Burberry baseball caps.
- Kappa tracksuit tops (his and hers).
- Shell suits (female).
- White sport socks.
- Rockport boots.
- Any other items usually sold in Primark.

Food parcels may be harder to come by, but are needed all the same.

Required foodstuffs include:
- Microwave meals.
- Tins of baked beans.
- Ice cream.
- Cans of Colt 45 or Special Brew.

22p buys a biro for filling in the compensation forms, chips, crisps and blue fizzy drinks for a family of 9. £5 will pay for a packet of B&H and a lighter to calm the nerves of those affected.

**Breaking news**
Rescue workers found a girl in the rubble smothered in raspberry alcopop - 'Where are you bleeding from?' they asked - 'ROMFORD mate' said the girl, 'woss that got to do wiv you?
Kicks and scrums and ruck and roll.....Is all my brain and body need!

DCat
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Post by DCat » Fri Jul 07, 2006 1:21 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Like it Kinny!
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Tigersfan90
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Post by Tigersfan90 » Fri Jul 07, 2006 3:25 pm

Made me laugh :lol: I needed it too!
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Kinoulton
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Post by Kinoulton » Fri Jul 07, 2006 3:35 pm

Tigersfan90 wrote:Made me laugh :lol: I needed it too!
Why. Wassup?
Kicks and scrums and ruck and roll.....Is all my brain and body need!

Tigersfan90
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Post by Tigersfan90 » Fri Jul 07, 2006 4:35 pm

Had a phone call explaining one of my AS subjects has been cancelled because of a lack of teachers next year. It was the main one I wanted to do as well :roll:
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scouse tiger
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Post by scouse tiger » Fri Jul 07, 2006 7:02 pm

Pitsea, near Basildon, really lives up to its name, a hurricane there might have improved the place.
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DCat
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Post by DCat » Sat Jul 08, 2006 11:23 am

What's the subject, TigersFan?
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Tigersfan90
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Post by Tigersfan90 » Sat Jul 08, 2006 3:04 pm

Travel and Tourism DCat :)
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mrsmoody
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Post by mrsmoody » Sat Jul 08, 2006 9:46 pm

aww sorry to hear that tigersfan :(



well done though kinny :D :lol: :D :lol: :D
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Tigersfan90
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Post by Tigersfan90 » Sun Jul 09, 2006 11:13 am

Cheers :)...wouldn't of been so bad if they told us a bit earlier not a week before the school closes for the summer.
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Post by DCat » Sun Jul 09, 2006 11:49 am

What school is it, if you don't mind me asking? Would there be a chance of you guys in your school going to another school to share the teacher? Alternatively, could they not buy in one for after-school lessons?

it doesn't sound as if they've done very well trying to sort it
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Tigersfan90
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Post by Tigersfan90 » Sun Jul 09, 2006 12:05 pm

Probably going in one day next week so they can explain why they cancelled it and if they can't get another teacher for after school or school share like you said. They wanted me to do a different AS as a replacement but if i didn't pick it originally i couldn't of really wanted to do it. Yea they do seem to be rubbish with organising things :)...
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