Jokes revived

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Phil B
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Re: Jokes revived

Post by Phil B » Sat Jul 15, 2017 11:23 am

A 65 year old man had just driven on to the motorway when his car phone rang. Answering it, he found his wife on the other end of the line.

"Bert", she said urgently. "Be careful, I've just heard on the news that there's a car driving the wrong way up the motorway".

"Hell", he replied, "It's not just one, there's hundreds of them!"
I could agree with you...but then we'd both be wrong.

Phil B
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Re: Jokes revived

Post by Phil B » Mon Jul 24, 2017 3:18 pm

A man dies and his wife phones the Leicester Mercury to arrange for his obituary to be printed. She is put through to the correct department and tells them that she doesn’t have much money, so she just wants the obituary to say “Alf is dead”. “That’s quite short”, says the man at the paper, “but if you’re worrying about the cost, don’t forget you’re entitled to have up to six words for the same price.”

“In that case”, says the woman, “make it - Alf is dead. Toyota for sale”.
I could agree with you...but then we'd both be wrong.

mj2012
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Re: Jokes revived

Post by mj2012 » Tue Aug 01, 2017 4:13 pm

Elisa wrote:
Tue Jun 13, 2017 8:20 am
Oh go on then.

This is my favourite joke, which probably says more about me than the joke. Works best in a Brummie accent.

Q. What's the difference between a buffalo and a bison?

A. You can't wash your hands in a buffalo.

Snortle.
Gonna have to be honest and say I'd have agreed with it being a yorkshire accent, not brummie!
He he shamone, but with a better touch :smt023

Latecomer
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Re: Jokes revived

Post by Latecomer » Tue Aug 29, 2017 1:45 pm

Customer: Does Viagra work?

Pharmacist: Yes.

Customer: Can you get it over the counter?

Pharmacist: Maybe, if I take two.

Dangerous4
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Re: Jokes revived

Post by Dangerous4 » Mon May 13, 2019 3:58 pm

A man walks into a pub, with a monkey sitting on his shoulder.
The landlord says "Hey, you can't bring that horrible creature in here"
"I can't help it, he's chained to me", replies the monkey.

chewbacca
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Re: Jokes revived

Post by chewbacca » Thu May 16, 2019 8:22 am

Two park keepers managing the boating lake. 1st park keeper, Bert "Come in 99 your time is up". 2nd park keeper "Bert we don't have a 99". Bert "You in trouble 66?"
I'm not cynical just experienced

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